Buzzzzzz....by Murphy

So, today, I'm looking out the window and what do I see? A BEE and what's even better?? It was on my side of the glass!!! For once, oh joy, it was on my side where I could reach it - something alive! It was sitting in one spot, so I went over to it and took a sniff - surprisingly it smelled like wood?? Perhaps that was the wood it sat on?? I don't know. Suddenly, the thing moves and starts growling at me!! The nerve! Doesn't he see the size I am versus the size he is????? I could eat him if I wanted to, was what I was thinking! So, I GROWLED back! He growled, then I growled, back and forth. It didn't seem to be getting us anywhere in defining who was superior(which was CLEARLY me), so I nudged him (and jumped back, not that I was scared of anything). He just kept growling! So, I decided to taste him...so I crept up to him and took a bite! NOT A GOOD IDEA!!!! HE BIT FIRST!!! I yelped and the Mom came running to see what the problem was - her response: 'Uh-oh!' I didn't what that meant! Later, I found out as my mouth began to puff up and become sore! Stupid bee! This war ain't over!!!

Mom by Barker

Sorry to hear about your back...take it easy girl.

Today they gave me more links on my chain so now I can climb on top of
my dawg haus and sit on the fence so I can see what everyone in this 6
house radius is up to. It's not that comfortable but the view...ahhh
the view and the breeze...sniff sniff....yum! The one they call mom saw
me sitting on the fence and came running, apparently she thought I was
hung up.
She is so funny. Acts like she doesn't like me sometimes but I know I
am her favorite.

Gotta go get my pillow now and wrestle with it.

cya ..... B

Running by Murphy

Barker, I know what you mean when they run. Cracks me up. They look
ssssoooo uncoordinated with only two legs! I like to have a little fun
with her when she runs. I chase after her and try and trip her and nip at
her butt! She doesn't think it is funny and half yells/laughs at me. I'm
not sure what to think about that!

Green Grass by Barker

She took me out across the street for a walk up to the building the kids
go to every morning. I sniffed and sniffed everything and ate some
birdseed under a birdfeeder at the school. Then I took off running and
she started running behind me, it scared me so bad to see her move that
fast that I stopped dead in my tracks and she couldn't stop and tripped
over me and rolled into the grass on the side of the road. People were
driving by being that it was around 5pm and she was cusssssing attttt
meeee. WHAT?!!!! What did I do?! I don't care what anyone thinks I
love to roll in the grass....what is her problem?!!!!!

cya B

Running Free by Murphy

Barker, let me help you! Seeing as I am 9 years your senior, I have been
through a lot with the ones they call Mom and Dad. I too, was on a line
where I could only run back and forth, back and forth. Let me tell you
about the master plan I developed about 6 years ago. I'm living in luxury
and you can too if you follow this plan! Start barking ...a lot! Bark at
everything you see!! Bark at the squirrels, the cats, the leaves, the
wind! Bark and pretend you see something - stand stiff and stare in one
direction (don't laugh when you see her trying to figure out what you're
barking at - that'll give it away). That is what I did. It wore on her
nerves! It wore and wore and wore!!! Then, one day, they started talking
about moving to a new, bigger dog house. I heard her say that it had to
have a six foot, wood fence for ....MWA! I kept my ears peeled! Then,
one day, they loaded their stuff into a big square, moving thing and
...presto, we were in a new dog house. Within weeks, they built me a nice
fence and now, I can just run and run and run, free from ropes and chains.
I still bark at nothing just to watch her run to the window and try to
figure it out! hahaha.

Potty Mouth by Murphy

The mom sends me to the vet for professional cleaning of all openings
and smelly points on my body. She says I am too rough and God forbid
she break a nail. For I have broken her nail before and she shouted
some words at me that do not bear repeating. Perhaps she should have
her mouth washed out.

I accidently tore my pillow bed up while they were gone and now I have
no comfy place to lay. Maybe if I look real pitiful she'll get me
another one....I can only hope.

nite.....b

Decorating by Barker

What is a dawg to do? I am tied up in this damn back yard and have not
been able to crap over by that big blue human house like I like to. The
one they call mom has been out here to loosen this collar at which point
she went back into the house and I managed to chew the collar off, I
believe that would make 3 collars I have chewed thru. Now I have a
chain around my neck, but I can run up to the brown shed and back down
to the blue shed. They put carpet in my dawghouse and I dragged it out
and chewed it up and decorated the ground around my house. I have a
whole pile of firewood to chew on but it's not that tasty.

OOOO she's coming out to....take me for ..... a
walk...yeehaw....weeeeee.....hereIgo.....sniff...sniff....sniff.....

cya......b

Feel for the Warm Spot by Murphy

Dear Barker,

Well, I must tell you about my continued sleeping saga! You are not going
to believe what the one they call Mom did. Today, she leaves the house and
fails to put anything on the couches to prevent me from getting up to
stretch out. So, I figure they're fair game. I'm in the free and clear.
Heck, I thought, she can't seem me so up I went. I stretched out and
enjoyed the peace and quiet of the house without the boy and girl child
making raquet. Boy, let me tell you, it was a ggggooooooooooodddd nap!
So, a while later, I hear the garage door go up and I head to the door to
greet them(as I am not one to hold grudges). What does she do? She
proceeds to 'feel for the warm' spot, I heard her say to the boy child.
Boom, I'm busted. That is hardly fair!!! Beware, Barker, yours may do
this to you, too.

Love, Murphy

Aging by Murphy

Dear Barker, Just be glad you can run and jump. Yesterday I tried to jump
over the gate ( the one to keep those two little things from going
upstairs) and I found I ain't what I used to be. I'll be damned if I
didn't hit my thigh as I went over and then when I tried to hoist the rest
of my tail over, I got my paw stuck in the plastic wire coated fencing. I
yelped and limped. After that I received tremendous attention from the one
they call Mom. She held me and petted me and scratched my ears. The one
they call 'Gama' did the same thing. She even kept those two things away
from me for a while. Now, my words of advice to you...learn to fake an
injury and yelp loudly. Might work for you too. :) Good Luck! Love, Murphy

JunkYard Dog Barker Speaks

I don't get it. They tried to tie me up this past week twice and I
broke 2 collars gettting back loose again so I could finish crapping the
perimeter of the back deck. Why are they trying to confine me to one
area? Tonite she brought home a chain collar and put it on me and the
boy child commented that now I looked like a real dog. There's been
mention made of some sort of snipping to be done involving me but I am a
shorthair.???? O the chain collar I got it up over my lower jaw and
then became crazed as then it felt similiar to wearing a horse bit. I
even bucked and whinnied at the back door til she took it.
off...whispering under her breath...stupid dog.....Could you tell her to
clean this back sliding glass door as I have muddied it up again with my
incessant running start body slams up against it and I can't see in
anymore unless I stand up on my hind legs.

Gotta go find some garbage to tear up....this yard of mine is going to
look like a junkyard if it's the last thing I do.

Barker

Warm Spots According to Murphy

Hi Barker! How's it going today??? I've had a rather rough day. You
know, I like to sit on soft things - that includes couches. They sit on
them, why can't I? I ask myself that all the time, especially when they
are gone! Well, the one they call Mom decides to clutter up all the sofa
space. Before she leaves today, she puts toys in all my favorite sleeping
spaces! Where am I supposed to relax while they're gone(don't get me
wrong, I'm grateful they're gone - a little peace and quiet), but where do
I stretch out??? What is she thinking? I had no choice but to push some
of those toys off in order to get comfy. Then, guess what happens? She
comes home with the boy and girl child and I get in trouble. Did she
actually think I was going to sleep on the floor???? Good grief! Beware
of set ups, Barker! Love, Murphy